“ I love Denise ”
0Hello
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here. Perhaps too long. Who knows? A friend told me October. I don’t even remember what might’ve been going on around then. I just know I’m still a silent, dormant, yet active member of the Tumblr community.
So in October I dressed up as Superman for Halloween which I enjoyed. I’m not much of a comic guy but I’ve always had a thing for Superman. Perhaps cause he’s a hunky dude, but on the other aspect of that because he’s friggen Superman! He has all these awesome abilities and he can fly and he has super strength, I mean who wouldn’t wanna be him.
November I was probably dealing with drama but nothing worth posting about, I’ve learned my lesson from that.
December was an interesting month. Not much that I can recall, but the one part of December that I’ll always remember is the ending of it.
My abuela hadn’t been doing too well months prior to that. She was in and out of the hospital since the summer ever since she came to FL. I miss her everyday. She passed away on February 2nd, at 10:30pm in Calvary Hospital. She’d been there for what I wanna say was close to a month. I wasn’t there, I wish I was though, she had a tough time towards the end. She was amazing.
That whole transition wasn’t the easiest, and I still find myself dealing with some anger and resentment from it. It’s hard to have the world full of people you live for and care about but when someone so close to you is nearing the end, you’ll find yourself more alone than ever. If it weren’t for a lot of things I’d learned from my abuela I’d probably be more vocal in my bitterness towards those I loved most. One thing I’ll share with you all that I learned from her is to be open to forgiveness.
From that experience I had dropped my smoking weed habits and moved on to cigarettes. I quit for a week or two not so long ago, but a bad dream later and many questions of where my life is headed now that she’s gone opened that box of Marlboro Menthol Lights for me again. It’s hard. I have another abuela in Puerto Rico whom I still love, but my NY abuela was the one I grew up with. She’d pick my sister and I up from school, and even after elementary school was over I’d still visit her in my high school years. Days off I’d take a walk from my house to hers, always calling her before arriving asking if she needed anything from outside or if she had eaten anything. Maybe once or twice she took me up on that offer with soda. She loved her soda, of course she drank water and coffee as well but don’t you dare try to trick her with diet soda for her diabetes, she was smarter than any of us were prepared for. She was a true fighter and I’ll always stay up and learn from her life lessons.
So now I’m in the patio. Still working full time at a job that I love but can sometimes find stressful in the smallest of aspects, making a year in April/June. Hopefully I can return to school in the summer, but if not I’m hoping I’ll receive a raise and can save up money to diminish my student loans and return with a clean slate. Of course I still want to major in theater but that can wait until I get my experience in the small town part of the world, otherwise known as Port St. Lucie.
Life hasn’t been the easiest for me in the past few years, as of recently it’s gotten harder. And although I feel alone in this now more than ever, I’m determined to make something of myself and live to a ripe old age with hopefully more successes than failures.
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did you know?: Anti-Rape Condom: The Rape-Axe »
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The device, known as The Rape-Axe, is a latex sheath embedded with shafts of sharp, inward-facing microscopic barbs that would be worn by a woman in her vagina like a tampon. If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, their penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs,…
